SCA: Disappointment regarding the Peerages

I went to an SCA event yesterday that, honestly, I'd been dreading. There were several reasons that I didn't want to go, and I'm happy to say that I had a really good time. I planned for what I saw as potential land-mines, found a wonderful wing-woman, and even after she left, I was able to enjoy activities that I haven't really done much of lately, even if I had limited time left before needing to go home.

Something came back sharper to light for me recently regarding the SCA, though. I really, truly, hate the idea of people actively seeking awards. What I mean is that I hate the idea of people doing things specifically because they've been told that the thing is a necessary step to getting the award.

One of the taboo topics...Finances.

One of the girls asked me something the other day, that made me more than a little sad. Not that she asked...but that it was even a question.

"Are we middle class? Or are we Working Poor?"

ouch.

As much as I try not to let the girls see me having issues with finances, they know it's happening. There's a lot of "that needs to wait until next week's grocery list", or "Can that wait until Friday, when I'm paid again?"

Finances are generally a taboo subject in our society. When you're doing well, you don't want to flaunt it. When you're not? You don't want anyone to know how much you're struggling. So...here's the dirty truth about where I am.

"So...what is this new job?"

It's been a month, and I feel like I'm getting a handle on things at work..and beyond that, I'm absolutely LOVING this job!!! So, while I'm happy, and understanding it, and have a few minutes, I thought I'd write about what I'm doing, and why I'm enjoying it.

"Killer Cookies" Recipe

Becky named these cookies, because she says they will "Kill any diet you're on". I generally only make them once per year, because I will eat through an entire batch in a day or two if I'm not careful.

My favorite cookies from growing up...(Recipe)

When I was growing up, my mom used to make "Melting Moments", which were absolutely wonderful cornstarch cookies. I hadn't had them in years, but I looked up the recipe last week, and made a batch. I don't think they lasted even 24 hours before we'd eaten all of them.

So...while I was typing some other recipes this morning into a google file where I'm trying to remember to keep family recipes, I figured I'd copy this one here, too.

Kitchen-Witch Cough drops (the promised recipe)

I promised I'd post a recipe for these when I managed to get something repeatable, and it seems that I have. Part of it is still "whatever feels right", but I have a basic recipe and technique to build off of, now.

Acceptance

I've done bits of venting here and there over the last day or so, but I think I'm overall hitting the "acceptance" phase of one part of my grief from the last few months. 

"Acceptance" doesn't mean that I'm happy with how things are, but it does mean that I'm learning to let go, and just know the hollow place is now a part of my internal geography. 

It's not the only hollow place.   I have another one that's about 15 years old, now, that still pops into the forefront of my mind from time to time. It still hurts, but I can't do anything about it, other than occasionally sending a friend request that I know will be refused.

This new hollow place will eventually lose its sharp edges, and just be another part of the landscape. It's already happening. Every day, the edges smooth a little more. Maybe some of the debris falls inside, and fills in the hole a little. 

Maybe not.