Bracelets

A year ago, I was going through some pretty rough emotional trials.

Someone dear to me wanted me to have something physical I could touch when I needed strength, and needed to remember I wasn’t alone.

What he came up with was a bead. A single, special bead, and he had a matching one. These beads were small, unassuming glass beads, but contained soil from the place where we first started really getting to know each other.

A bead is easy to lose, but a bracelet is less so.

So, I made two bracelets. They didn’t match at all, other than the fact that in the middle of each was a small, unassuming glass bead, which didn’t quite match anything else on the bracelet.

I’ve worn that bracelet most of the time for the last year. If I wasn’t wearing it, it was generally in my pocket. (A commercial kitchen is no place for wrist jewelry.)

These bracelets sometimes seemed psychic. Some days, they’d jump off our wrists at random times in random places, but always turned back up. Other days, no matter what happened, they held tight. I had created them with multiple strings/knots/points of failure...and there were times, particularly when one of us was particularly upset with the other, that one or both of us would realize that the strings on the bracelet were broken. Maybe just one string...maybe just one was left.

The relationship with this other person was ended about a week and a half ago.

The other day, I realized that the strings on my bracelet were still holding strong. This gave me hope...but I think, perhaps, it shouldn’t have.  I continued wearing it.

Yesterday, partway through the day, I took my bracelet off.

Today, I put it in a bag of salt, put the bag in a box, and closed it away for a while. If the connection needs to be severed, it needs to be severed. Acceptance is slow...but it’s coming.