I have a friend who is having a hard time right now. One of the things she's dealing with is something that she's dealt with on one level or another for as long as I can remember. It's the prejudice that some workplaces, and people, have against single people.
What? There's no prejudice against single people?
I beg to differ. I have seen it in the way her workplace has treated her requests for time off for the holiday season for the last several years. She is constantly told that she should work through Christmas and New Years because she doesn't have a family, and that she should let the people who have spouses and kids have the holidays off so they can spend them with their families. Now, she's being told that she's "selfish" for wanting the time, when she has the seniority to warrant it.
Umm...excuse me?
First of all, just because someone is unmarried doesn't mean they don't have family. It is more likely to mean that the family they do have requires travel to get to. "Single" people still have parents, siblings, nieces and nephews...in short, they have Families. Why are the families we are born into any less important than the ones we create?
Secondly, why is having a family more of a factor when it comes to getting requested time off than things like job seniority? Hiring decisions can't be made based on family status, so why can other job-related things? And bullying "single" people who request that time off? Not cool.
Yes, family is important, but there are lots of kinds of families. For some people, "family of choice" is more important than blood family. It is not appropriate for a workplace to make judgements on what counts as "family" and give preferential treatment to those with recognized and "approved" family types.
Having a child does not entitle you to special treatment. Being married does not entitle you to special treatment.
Not being married or having children does not mean that you are a failure, or any less entitled to the things you have earned. A relationship does not have to last forever (or result in spawn) to be counted as a success.
(end rant)
For my friend - You are loved. You are important and worthy. Asking things for yourself does not make you selfish. It makes you human, and I am glad you are strong enough to ask for things and stand up for yourself instead of just rolling over and giving in. I miss you. You are family.
What? There's no prejudice against single people?
I beg to differ. I have seen it in the way her workplace has treated her requests for time off for the holiday season for the last several years. She is constantly told that she should work through Christmas and New Years because she doesn't have a family, and that she should let the people who have spouses and kids have the holidays off so they can spend them with their families. Now, she's being told that she's "selfish" for wanting the time, when she has the seniority to warrant it.
Umm...excuse me?
First of all, just because someone is unmarried doesn't mean they don't have family. It is more likely to mean that the family they do have requires travel to get to. "Single" people still have parents, siblings, nieces and nephews...in short, they have Families. Why are the families we are born into any less important than the ones we create?
Secondly, why is having a family more of a factor when it comes to getting requested time off than things like job seniority? Hiring decisions can't be made based on family status, so why can other job-related things? And bullying "single" people who request that time off? Not cool.
Yes, family is important, but there are lots of kinds of families. For some people, "family of choice" is more important than blood family. It is not appropriate for a workplace to make judgements on what counts as "family" and give preferential treatment to those with recognized and "approved" family types.
Having a child does not entitle you to special treatment. Being married does not entitle you to special treatment.
Not being married or having children does not mean that you are a failure, or any less entitled to the things you have earned. A relationship does not have to last forever (or result in spawn) to be counted as a success.
(end rant)
For my friend - You are loved. You are important and worthy. Asking things for yourself does not make you selfish. It makes you human, and I am glad you are strong enough to ask for things and stand up for yourself instead of just rolling over and giving in. I miss you. You are family.
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