I've heard in the past that often, in an argument, you have to chose whether it's more important to be "right" or to be "happy". Even if you're "right", you can choose to just let it go, end the argument, and be happy instead. Or, you can choose to sacrifice your happiness and continue to insist that you are "right".
Often, I'll choose being happy...or at least not miserable...over being right. (It does depend on the subject and the relationship. Sometimes "happy" isn't really an option anyway.)
I'm human. There are times that the frustration builds up during an argument and I make a snarky comment. As soon as it comes out, I usually recognize it, and will apologize...but "you can't unring the bell". Once it's out there, it's there, and it can't be taken back. I really do try to keep them to a minimum...but as I said - I'm human.
So...what to do when being "right" may actually be important? And how do you tell if it's important or not? If something is an ongoing issue...does that make it worth standing your ground? If you can prove you're right, does that make any difference?
After an argument, I sent an e-mail to the person with documentation of the point I had been trying to make. I sent it, not expecting the person to actually get the email for a few hours, giving time to cool off. I forgot about that miracle of technology - smart phones - that can deliver e-mail near instantly to someone even away from a computer. (Oops.)
I got a response well before I had expected the person to even see the email. Was it a "ok, now I see your point and I see where you got the information"?Was it "here is where the documentation for my differing viewpoint comes from"? No. It was "You just can't let it go, can you."
I give up.
I'm in a new place, trying to establish new routines and learn new skills. If the experts/research tells me one thing, and someone I know tells me something different...which one do I listen to? Which set of information do I let the girls learn? It it worth letting someone potentially waste money and resources, without being fully informed, just so they can be "right"?
I will let someone make a decision that I don't agree with...but I don't agree with letting someone make a decision in ignorance. Once someone is fully informed, if they make what I feel is the wrong choice, that's not my problem anymore. Friends don't let friends be dumb without understanding the consequences first.
"You just can't let it go, can you?"
No. Apparently I can't.
Often, I'll choose being happy...or at least not miserable...over being right. (It does depend on the subject and the relationship. Sometimes "happy" isn't really an option anyway.)
I'm human. There are times that the frustration builds up during an argument and I make a snarky comment. As soon as it comes out, I usually recognize it, and will apologize...but "you can't unring the bell". Once it's out there, it's there, and it can't be taken back. I really do try to keep them to a minimum...but as I said - I'm human.
So...what to do when being "right" may actually be important? And how do you tell if it's important or not? If something is an ongoing issue...does that make it worth standing your ground? If you can prove you're right, does that make any difference?
After an argument, I sent an e-mail to the person with documentation of the point I had been trying to make. I sent it, not expecting the person to actually get the email for a few hours, giving time to cool off. I forgot about that miracle of technology - smart phones - that can deliver e-mail near instantly to someone even away from a computer. (Oops.)
I got a response well before I had expected the person to even see the email. Was it a "ok, now I see your point and I see where you got the information"?Was it "here is where the documentation for my differing viewpoint comes from"? No. It was "You just can't let it go, can you."
I give up.
I'm in a new place, trying to establish new routines and learn new skills. If the experts/research tells me one thing, and someone I know tells me something different...which one do I listen to? Which set of information do I let the girls learn? It it worth letting someone potentially waste money and resources, without being fully informed, just so they can be "right"?
I will let someone make a decision that I don't agree with...but I don't agree with letting someone make a decision in ignorance. Once someone is fully informed, if they make what I feel is the wrong choice, that's not my problem anymore. Friends don't let friends be dumb without understanding the consequences first.
"You just can't let it go, can you?"
No. Apparently I can't.
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