Ok, I know I haven't been typing here nearly as much as I should have. I've been exploring things in my head lately that aren't appropriate to post here, but it's been getting things sorted that needed it. The important part right now is that, not only am I "not dead", I'm actually happy!
What? How can I be happy while Phil's gone?
Well, I've started getting my head sorted, and am learning what I need to be happy, and what maybe I'd been ignoring that I shouldn't have been. Besides...Phil and I are talking a lot, and I know he'll be back soon(ish). Fixing issues in my head is a long-term thing, while missing Phil is short-term.
So, my baseline mood has moved from "reasonably content and not entirely unhappy" to a solid "Content and Happy". Yes, my moods still cycle. Sometimes they're cycling faster than I'm entirely happy with...but they're not going down as far or staying down as long. I'm being able to recognize when they're hitting almost "manic" ...and paying attention to controlling those, too.
Kids are all in school now. Becky started high school, and is already in this term's theater production..."Legally Blonde, the Musical". Kelly is happily ensconced in Middle School, where she is in Chorus, and Liz is thrilled that she gets to be in Band this year, and is looking for a trumpet to play. I'm glad that all three have found performing arts that they enjoy, and I'm not even too terribly disappointed that Becky has decided not to continue in Band.
The girls are also doing incredibly well with the fact that their dad is gone and their mom is working through dinner most nights. They are incredibly self-sufficient (Thank you, Mom, for teaching me how important that is to teach kids!) and we're trying to make a point of doing something fun on my weekend day off.
We have a weekly skype date with Phil, and I'm able to video chat with him other times during the week as well. All in all, life's going pretty well.
What? How can I be happy while Phil's gone?
Well, I've started getting my head sorted, and am learning what I need to be happy, and what maybe I'd been ignoring that I shouldn't have been. Besides...Phil and I are talking a lot, and I know he'll be back soon(ish). Fixing issues in my head is a long-term thing, while missing Phil is short-term.
So, my baseline mood has moved from "reasonably content and not entirely unhappy" to a solid "Content and Happy". Yes, my moods still cycle. Sometimes they're cycling faster than I'm entirely happy with...but they're not going down as far or staying down as long. I'm being able to recognize when they're hitting almost "manic" ...and paying attention to controlling those, too.
Kids are all in school now. Becky started high school, and is already in this term's theater production..."Legally Blonde, the Musical". Kelly is happily ensconced in Middle School, where she is in Chorus, and Liz is thrilled that she gets to be in Band this year, and is looking for a trumpet to play. I'm glad that all three have found performing arts that they enjoy, and I'm not even too terribly disappointed that Becky has decided not to continue in Band.
The girls are also doing incredibly well with the fact that their dad is gone and their mom is working through dinner most nights. They are incredibly self-sufficient (Thank you, Mom, for teaching me how important that is to teach kids!) and we're trying to make a point of doing something fun on my weekend day off.
We have a weekly skype date with Phil, and I'm able to video chat with him other times during the week as well. All in all, life's going pretty well.
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