Friday, 24 May 2013

"Does anyone really notice that kind of thing?"

I'm going to write this with the hope that it will stop running through my head. Apparently, it bothered me more than I thought, because the specific incident happened a week ago, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it.

I'm  a waitress. I enjoy being a waitress, am good at it, and take a fair amount of pride in the fact. I work at a reasonably posh private golf club (which shall remain nameless) on the East Coast. (For anyone who doesn't know, there's a subtle but fairly significant difference between posh on the east coast vs. posh on the west coast.) While lunch at our establishment is fairly laid back, we do serve a formal dinner several evenings each week. For either, but especially for dinner, there are specific rules of service we are to follow, including which hand to serve or clear with and which side of the guest we serve or clear from, and always serve the ladies first.

The club manager hires students from the Hospitality department of a local college with the intention of giving them some real-world serving experience. For a seasonal business that is busiest during the summer break, this makes a lot of sense. Some of these "interns", though, have never worked in a restaurant before. This confused me more than a little at first. I didn't understand how someone could decide to major in something like Hospitality without having tried it out at first...but after talking to a couple of them, I understand it a bit better. (Some are more interested in hotels than restaurants, and there are many facets to Hospitality.)

This year, we have two interns working in the dining room. One has been doing great, and I think has at least a little restaurant experience. He's personable, smiles, and learns quickly from his mistakes, such as toppling a tray of wine glasses filled with water because he tried walking too fast. (That's exactly why we were doing the practice with water-filled glasses in an empty dining room.)

The second, though...lets call him "Pat", I have some severe reservations about. Pat has no restaurant experience, which I can understand. Everyone has to start somewhere. Lack of skill I can easily forgive, as long as someone is willing to learn. Skill takes time. However, a lack of caring, is harder to forgive.

Last week was Pat's first week of shifts. He started working at the same time as we started serving the new, full menus. Friday night he was supposed to be shadowing me. I knew he was supposed to be following me and learning how to take the orders etc. but apparently he had been told to, basically, "stick to my back pocket". I kept turning around and he was gone, apparently wandering aimlessly around the dining room. So, Saturday night, the dining room supervisor told me to stick to his back pocket instead, and try to guide him in the directions he needed to go.

Following him was, I think, more frustrating than having him follow me. Essentially, I was to keep my hands in my pockets (not literally) and direct Pat to what needed to be done. Some things are just a matter of practice and timing. Putting orders into the computer is just practice. Talking to guests is mostly a matter of practice. Taking orders from and serving the ladies first is largely a matter of practice...but is something you have to try to remember.

When Pat was taking the tables (we only had two all night, so it's not like we were that busy) there were more issues than there should have been. Some of the issues, though, I think bothered me than any of the guests. For example, one of the guests had asked about what was in the compound butter on his steak. Neither Pat nor I could remember exactly, so I asked the kitchen. Then, when I went out to the table the next time, I told the guest...then went and found Pat to tell him. I got a blank stare back from him...and reminded him that he needed to know in case another guest asked him about it.

A bit later, when the guests at that table were done with their meals and we took out coffee and tea, Pat served the gentleman before the lady, with the wrong hand from the wrong side. When I gently reminded him about that after we reached the server area, his response was "Does anyone really notice that kind of thing?"

Blink

(internal scream of exasperation)

(mentally give him a "Gibbs Slap")

My external response was that some people would...my husband would...and the Club manager would.

A bit later, a guest at our other table had french onion soup that was not as hot as he wanted, and we needed to have it re-made. Unfortunately, it had also sat at the table for a long time before we went back to check on the soups, so the timing of everything from then on was off. Still, we asked the kitchen to redo the soup, then talked to the dining room supervisor to see what we could/should do for the guest, and we were told that we would take the soup off his bill.

I told to Pat to let the table know that the soup was being redone and that we would take it off the bill. Pat told me that he'd just let them know when he delivered the soup...then went and wandered around the dining room instead of waiting in the kitchen for the soup. He missed the entire point...which was to let the guest who was waiting know that we were taking care of the issue, and that it would be a couple minutes.

I know he doesn't have any experience. Still...Hospitality is a service industry. Even if he's not interested in the restaurant side of things (he's not - he's more interested in Hotels), some of the basics still transfer. You want your guests to be happy. The higher scale the establishment, the more invisible and intuitive the service staff should be. The bathrooms should always be clean, but guests should never see them being cleaned. Coffee and water cups should always be full, and ideally the guests won't actually notice you doing it. Dirty or excess dishes should vanish magically from the table.

"Does anyone really notice?" If you're doing it right, No. If you do it wrong, yes. That's the entire point.

Thursday, 23 May 2013

"Inconcievable"

Lately, I've been having the thought that there are a couple words that do not mean what most people seem to think they mean. The two words, "depression" and "introvert", are words that most people who meet me currently would never expect to apply to me. However, they are things that can very much affect things that are going on "behind the scenes" in my head.

Wednesday, 1 May 2013

"What are you afraid of?"

During a conversion with Phil the other night, he asked what I was afraid of. Its a question I've been asked before, but this time I thought through and worked on answering him. The question was asked in reference to certain social situations. Here's what I came up with.

I'm afraid of not being good enough.

I'm afraid of not living up to other people's expectations.

I'm afraid of not living up to my own expectations.

I'm afraid of being laughed at.

I'm afraid of being made fun of.

I'm afraid of scaring people off if they see whats really inside me.

I'm afraid that i can't maintain the mask forever.

I'm afraid if what's under the mask.

 I'm afraid there's nothing under the mask.

I know these are all irrational fears, and shouldn't matter, but they do. I don't expect them to disappear anytime soon, but acknowledging them is the first ep to dealung with them.


Tuesday, 23 April 2013

Do we really have a "Right to know"?

Ok, I don't like being political, but I'm getting a bit frustrated by posts that I see on Facebook after the bombing at the Boston Marathon. Specifically, an article I read this morning that someone shared on Facebook, asking about "unanswered questions the mainstream media is afraid to ask". Other than getting grumpy eyebrows at the sensationalist writing (Yes, I know that it is meant to be sensationalist to get people to read it), it made me think again...how much DO we have a right to know through the news media.

Now, if someone really wants to know what's going on, or what happened, I don't have a problem with them being able to find out. However, sensationalist news media is not necessarily the way to do that. Some things should not be broadcast to the world at large.

Understand that I am not saying any of the things being questioned are or are not true. The actual truth of the assertions isn't my point. My point is that these are not things the mainstream media necessarily should be broadcasting.

One set of the "unanswered questions" revolves around whether or not there was a bomb squad drill going on the day of the marathon. Some people say they were being told there was a drill, others say the authorities deny there was a drill. People say they saw bomb dogs sniffing around at the marathon and extra security inspecting the marathon area. So the question being hinted at seems to be..."did they know there were bombs, or had there been a bomb threat that they didn't tell anyone about?"

The answer, in my mind, is they probably did have a bomb thread, or at least "chatter" about a bombing at the marathon. Should they have broadcast it? In my mind, NO. They did what they could/should have done - Investigate quietly with heightened vigilance. First, what good would it have done to broadcast the fact that there was a bomb threat? It would have caused panic, making it harder for people to investigate. Also, if a bomb threat or chatter about a possibility of a bomb,which I'm sure happens a lot more than we actually hear about, is enough to disrupt something the size of the Marathon, then terrorists don't have to use actual bombs, they just have to hint at the possibility to achieve their goals. The terrorists would win.


Another set of questions involves a Saudi national who was, in theory, originally identified as a "person of interest". The article I read was questioning why Michelle Obama visited this person in the hospital, and why there were unscheduled meetings between the President and someone from the Saudi government. Well...watching the news on the day of the bombing, I know there was someone who was being reported early as a "person of interest", but the authorities were saying, right away, that No, he was NOT someone they were looking at. There's a decent chance that's the person they were talking about.

More of the questions about this person involve the fact that he was photographed with two other Saudi nationals earlier that day, and the fact that he is now scheduled to leave the country "with the full blessing of the US Government." Lets look at this logically. What is so strange or wrong with him being photographed with other people from his home country? Couldn't they just be his friends? The Boston Marathon brings people from around the world. If it was three people from France, or from South Africa who were being photographed together, would there be a stir about it? What about if it was three people from Ireland? The IRA still uses bombs, doesn't it? 

This person's name and picture has been released through the mainstream media. Even with the authorities saying "He had nothing to do with it!" people are still questioning his innocence, thanks both social and mainstream media. Really? Would you WANT to stay in a country where everyone was sure you were a terrorist? Turn this around and think about what would happen if you were in a foreign country where something like this had happened. Wouldn't you want to go home as quickly as possible if your name and picture were being spread as someone who was responsible, especially if you weren't? Apparently, the concept of "innocent until proven guilty" doesn't work if you are of middle eastern descent.

I have seen posts on Facebook saying, essentially, "I don't want to know the motives behind the bombing, because that means the terrorists accomplish their goal and get their message heard." I partially agree with that. The more publicity there is on why they did it, the more it shows that this is an effective method of communicating a message. No, I don't think that the information should be hidden, but it shouldn't be broadcast, either. Yes, it should be studied, and should be taught in appropriate places (college classes, law enforcement training courses, etc) but without the names of the people, or even, necessarily, the specifics of the events. Let the lessons be learned without the terrorist message being broadcast. Have the information available for people who want to seek it out who actually want to know, not just those who want speculation, rumors, and sensationalism.

I know that a lot of people won't agree with me, and in the middle of the rant I probably missed some important things. Still, it comes down to the fact that there's a difference between hiding something, and simply not advertising it. Information shouldn't be hidden, necessarily, but it doesn't always have to be advertised, either.

Thursday, 18 April 2013

Military clause - my "expired" licence has NOT really expired!

I had a frustrating experience the other day, and thought it might be helpful to someone else if I shared it here. (Actually, I started writing it on a facebook group, then realized that to get the whole story out, it should be here instead.)

I was pulled over for a traffic stop on my way home on Tuesday. Getting pulled over is always a bit frustrating, especially when you don't know you'd actually done anything wrong. (In New Hampshire, if you're on the freeway and an officer has someone pulled over on the side of the road, you are required by law to move to the far lane when passing them. I didn't know that, and was subsequently pulled over.) The issue that came up, though, was the expired date on my drivers license.

Wednesday, 10 April 2013

Stuck in Neutral... General updates on life.

It's been a while since I've written, and I think it's time to take stock of how I'm doing and what's been going on. Phil asked me the other day how I was feeling, emotionally. (We've had cold and flu going around the house, so we'd already dealt with how I was feeling physically.) I didn't know how to answer him.

Monday, 1 April 2013

Stealth Cake for an April Fool's Birthday

Last year for Becky's Birthday, there was a lot going on, so her birthday got kinda missed. I wanted to make up for it this year.

I haven't played up the April Fool's Day part of her birthday for a while, but I like to try to do fun cakes. This year, she was too old for any of the small toys I saw that could be used to decorate it, but I had the idea to do her cake in a flower pot with fake flowers. I've made "Dirt Cake" in the past, but that's an entirely different thing. Becky wanted an actual cake, so I needed something solid. Here's what I came up with. It worked great!